A bead of sweat clung to Ken’s brow as he finished packing his bag. It was mid July in Eastern, WA and the central air was battling with the searing heat.
“Hey honey, you almost done with your packing?”
“Another hour or so,” Briana replied.
“Another hour? Another hour? We ain’t got no stinkin hour.” Ken sarcastically retorted as he walked behind and stroked Briana’s sides.
Swinging around to face him, Briana whispered softly, “You want me to look pretty, don’t you? And besides, we have all the time in the world.”
Her scent was intoxicating, Ken couldn’t help but smile as his fingers explored Briana’s hair, then cupping her cheeks. As their eyes met, their lips would follow.
“You know something; you’re pretty no matter what.”
The two had been readying for their annual camping trip in Elbe, WA., a small town nestled under the shadow of Mt. Rainier. Heading for their favorite spot, this was an excursion that always provided a brief escape from the world, and everyone else.
No matter where they would go, something was always left behind unintentionally. The one item Ken would make sure to bring along was his 45 caliber 1911 Para Ordnance hand gun and his Benchmade knife. He never went anywhere isolated without the two. For some reason, he also included his inch long ‘nail cleaning’ knife, as he liked to call it, because really that’s all it was good for. Slipping it into his back pocket, Ken was ready to hit the road.
Reaching the small town of Elbe, old rail cars lined the side of the road. Some were converted to a restaurant with the rest making up Hotel accommodations. The sound of the Cowlitz River running its course could be heard in the background and the sight of fisherman dotted the rocky banks. Elbe was really just a rest stop for many on their way to Packwood, or Mt. Rainier.
Where they were going would be far from the main road, and required quite a hike to get there. They would traverse over the first set of mountains to reach a small valley sitting at the base of Mt. Rainier. There the two would be removed from the other tourists; rarely did anyone go that far just to camp.
As they donned their matching Danner boots, and backpacks, they remembered together how good the food was in the rail cars. Following a trip into the mountains, it was their favorite stop before the drive back. Entering the trees, the hike had begun.
Stopping to rest half way through their trek, an uneasy feeling overtook Ken. Something just didn’t seem right.
“Did you hear that?”
“Hear what, honey.”
“I don’t know…sounded like footsteps.”
The two were now straining to isolate normal sounds of the forest from anything that might seem out of place.
“Probably just a deer,” Briana responded.
“Maybe.”
While in the Army, Ken had gone through jungle training in Panama and mountain training near Leavenworth. Always aware of his surroundings, he possessed an uncanny knack of distinguishing sounds of four legged animals opposed to that of humans.
“Just my imagination…you’re probably right,” was his reply, but it didn’t sound like a deer were his thoughts.
Continuing with their hike hand in hand under the clear sky, the two began reminiscing about the past while painting their future story. Laughing at goofy moments shared together, everything was right in the world. Rainbows and miracles were alive and well today.
Reaching their little spot, the air was cooler now as the sun began receding. The smell of green grass and trees brought with it a meditative, relaxing environment. They had been here before, and it always yielded beautiful memories meant only for them.
“I’ll start setting up camp…”
“OK, I’ll get the stuff ready for dinner.” Briana interjected before Ken could finish.
“Sounds good to me, baaabie.”
The Stranger in the Forest
“Just my imagination…you’re probably right”
Finished with setting up their orange tent, Ken started gathering wood for the fire. Walking not 20 feet into the treeline, a feeling they were not alone pounded his thoughts like waves against a shore line.
Standing still, eyes and ears straining for the next couple minutes, whatever was spooking Ken, it eluded him once again.
What the hell? Why am I so fuckin paranoid? Ken’s thoughts were looking for answers.
“Feel like some coffee, honey? Cowboy coffee for my cowboy?”
“Sure, let me get the fire going, it’ll be ready in a couple minutes.”
Briana busied herself unpacking the pot, oranges, cinnamon, and coffee while Ken arranged rocks to form a barrier for the fire. Once the fire was going strong, Ken walked over to where Briana was. Looking up, Briana smiled.
“I sure love you Ken.”
“Come here, cutie pie,” he replied, motioning for Briana to stand.
As she stood, the two embraced in a passionate kiss.
“I love you Briana, with all my heart,” Ken whispered to her ear as he took in the scent from her hair.
“I love you with all my heart; you’ll always be my sweetie pie.”
Snap!
“What the hell,” Ken said as he felt for the grip on his pistol.
“Probably just some random animal, Ken.”
“Maybe, but I’ve been having a creepy feeling ever since we started our hike.”
“Go in the tent while I check it out,” pulling the 45 from its holster, and motioning Briana to the tent.
After a diligent sweep of the camp perimeter, Ken and Briana sat next to each other near the fire drinking the cowboy coffee in the moonlight.
“Something doesn’t feel right, I mean, the sounds I’ve been hearing seem more like a person makes, not an animal. And this weird feeling, something isn’t right.”
“Relax, baby, you have your gun, it’s probably just a deer, or a raccoon, or something.”
“Maybe…but damn, I’m usually not wrong when it comes to things like this, I don’t get it.”
“I know something that’ll make you feel better, lets go in the tent honey,” Briana said with a sly grin.
“Not right now, I want to stay here for a while.”
Standing now, Briana reached for Ken’s hand and led him into the tent.
“Come on honey.”
Pulling the brass zipper, the tent flaps closed.
Snap! Crack!
“Fuck this,” Ken rushed to the flaps, worked the zipper, and rushed out pulling the nickel pistol from his side.
Thwop!
A baseball bat had struck Ken in the head, sending his limp body to the dirt.
Awakening, the taste of his own blood now saturated his dry mouth. Confused, his memory seemed to wonder like a lost child. He couldn’t move, and didn’t want to. His head seemed to throb in unison with the groans emanating from their tent.
An hour passed and numbness was now replaced with a stabbing pain in his skull. Hands and feet bound, he lay on his back with his hands stabbing at his butt. The events began to flood back into his brain like water from a broken dam. He was helpless, and he knew it.
Briana exited the tent half dressed with a stranger following behind her. Motioning Briana to sit by the fire, the stranger bent down beside Ken and slapped his face.
“You awake tough guy?”
“I’m going to kill you fucker,” was Ken’s only reply.
“Oh, really? I’d love to see that! Why don’t you tell me how you’re gonna pull that one off?”
Ken’s lips remained silent. Looking over at Briana sobbing, her tears seemed more like falling stars under the soft glow of the fire. She sat staring at her feet, shaking with an aluminum bat mirroring the jumping fire nearby. Ken felt rage, towards the stranger, and guilt that he was unable to protect his lovely lady.
His mind raced, trying to figure a way out of this mess. Ken knew it was just the beginning, and would end much more violently. He had to do something, anything to save Briana. But what could he do? Ken didn’t know the answer, only that he would gladly die if it meant Briana would be safe. His sole purpose and focus now was to insure her safety.
“Shit dude, I got your gun…and your woman! What the fuck you gonna do? Nada!”
Ken’s mind merged with instinct and training, the one inch knife in his back pocket would be his savior. Luckily, his hands were bound behind his back.
Glaring up at his captor, Ken managed to pick the knife from his Levi’s and began to work on the twine that cut into his wrists. Freeing his hands, Ken knew he couldn’t make a move until his legs were free also.
“Hey Ken, don’t you go nowhere…me and Briana will be right back, ya hear?” The intruder blurted out, laughing as he motioned for Briana to go back into the tent.
How did he know my name?
With the intensity of a wounded animal, Ken cut his legs free and bolted for the bat. Rushing to the tent, the stranger was laying on top of Briana, the pairs legs intertwined. Rage flowed through the bat as it found its target.
Thwop, thwop, thwop, thwop! Ken made sure it was a grand slam.
Briana rolled the limp stranger from her, jumped to her feet screaming and crying. He was dead, and they both knew it.
Sapped of all his energy, Ken fell to the ground, sobbing in relief. He was overcome with pure joy with the fact he was able to save Briana, his cutie pie.
Lying in the grass, the stars above seemed to be winking with satisfaction that a wrong had been righted. Ken thanked the Lord for giving him the strength and courage to save his woman.
Briana knelt down beside him, tears still falling from her cheeks.
“I love you Briana.”
“I love you Ken, but you weren’t supposed to be the one to live.”
Ken could feel the sharp poke from the muzzle of his pistol, then the sound of it firing. A single bullet pierced his heart.
Looking into her eyes, Ken realized that the stranger in the forest was Briana.
The last thought before his heart stopped was, “Why?”
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{ 68 comments… read them below or add one }
Chilling!
Hope I gave ya some goose bumps!
!
!!
Well, you’ve done it again! GREAT story! Your stories are so touching and seem so real…
Thanks, this is actually more real than you think.
More real than you think? Please explain! Was this inspired by an emotionally traumatic experience, or a real murder?
The events are purely fictional, while the ‘feelings’ are based on this.
OMG. That was amazing.
Glad you like.
….Thanks Big Guy!!! Now I’m hearing noises EVERY frikkinwhere!!Hahahaaa…..Gads!!!
Great story though!!
hughugs
Ha, glad I was able to contribute to your hearing today.
OH MAN! I swear, everytime I read your stuff I get chills. Loved the twist at the end. You’re an awesome writer….I wish my stuff flowed like yours. *sigh* I better keep reading your stuff so I can learn from you.
)
Why thank you Michelle, (tipping hat), I’m glad you like my writing.
Another fabulous story. I sense that you are the inspiration for the character of Ken.
Unfortunately so, glad you enjoyed it.
oh snap! that was wicked good…great job taking your time to build the tension and the characters as well….tight write.
Thanks Brian, glad you likey!
Ouch! That had to hurt.
Like a Vampire getting the stake kinda hurt!
See! There is a reason why I dont go camping. Great story.
Thanks for the bunny love.
How horrific that someone you thought you knew – someone you loved – would pull the ultimate betrayal. The knife in the heart – that was painful to read!
The story was chilling and the inspiration for it was sad. But it’s a wonderful thing when you create something great out of something horrible.
Hi Talon, for some reason it is painful to reply with anything other than, your words hit the bulls eye.
I think this was the best one yet! I had a feeling about the girl!!!!
Glad you liked it, it was kind of difficult, but I need to purge!
Terrific, chilling and God it gave me goose bumps. I was reading it and midway through i had that feeling that it was someone you knew that had betrayed you. Then i read some more and was like *WTF*!! First of all it depicts a broken heart, so much trust wasted and then to find out it was Briana all along that wanted Ken out of the way? Felt his pain..so sad Urban Cowboy and such a lovely story. Loved it alot and i agree we learn so much from such situations only thing is if the victim doesn’t end up dead but starts a new life afresh with someone worth his love~
Glad to hear you like this Julliette, goose bumps and all. Yes, this fool heart has been shattered, I am waiting for the day it will come back alive.
Again, jealous!
UP
Hey UP, good to see ya.
Friggin’ Brianna.
I’m telling ya…
Why Briana? Why??? Typical chick…
Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma, What’s For Dinner
http://www.mawhats4dinner.com
Yea, right…my thoughts exactly!
TUC, I knew after reading the story and before reading the comments what brought this one on……
Very well written and once again you have an amazing writing talent.
“Ken/TUC” wanted to know WHY from “Briana/Ex”….
The “leaving/bullet” “breaking/killing” ya’lls heart…..
Sad on both counts, but you’re going to be OKAY. Cause your true SOUL MATE will be found when you least expect it!
Thanks for the compliment Ramona! You’re right on both counts. I will be alright, my soul is at peace knowing I was good to her and my heart is on the mend…but I really did think she WAS my soul mate. Oh well, I am definitely NOT looking for long term and probably won’t for quite a while.
At the beginning, I had a moments concern this story was taking an uncomfortable-to-read-at-work turn.
Not that I wasn’t uncomfortable, and in fact, freaking out the entire rest of the story.
Well written – and I’m so sorry.
Thanks Megan, glad you liked it.
Well, clearly I picked a fabulous day for my very first visit. Bravo. Can’t wait to read more of your stuff.
Welcome Gucci Mama! Glad you likey.
Twirling in the rain is also fun.
Yes it is.
That was FANTASTIC! As soon as I finished, I went right back to the top and read it again! I wish I could write like that…
Hey Natalie, so happy you liked it! You’re writing is awesome!
That bitch! Good one, UC.
Glad you liked Captain!
Okay that was dark. Really really dark. I think I get the meaning behind that story also.
Very good Cowboy.
Yea…the shade kinda matches the color of my heart.
Amazing! Wholly riveting, I was glued to the page from beginning to end. A highly entertaining piece, Cowboy. I’m sorry about the bullet in your heart though.
Thank you Raven.
Wow, excellent story! You did a great job building the suspense. I could totally see this as a TV show, one Alfred Hitchcock might have done.
I wish! Thanks Patti.
Ooh, I didn’t realize until I came back and read through the comments that you were “writing from life”, as it were. So sorry, love. I know well what it’s like to be blindsided.
Yea, you’d think I was a vampire that just got ‘staked’.
Hi there. Thank you for stopping by and saying hello! Nice to meet ya! Any friend of Otin is a friend of mine!
That was a great story. I just don’t know how you guys do it! Making such incredible stories!
Welcome Maggie! Well, to be honest, I wish this story had no reason to be told.
Chills. Very awesome. Ken is hot. Too bad she killed him.
Nice to see you again Jo…thanks (tipping hat).
Maaaaaaaaaajor goosebumps!!
Goose bumps can be good…right?
Just a bit bent????
Definitely bent, for sure!
An excellent, and well written story of betrayal. You build mystery and suspense.
Thank you Rose…unexpected betrayal towards someone that didn’t necessarily deserve it.
Oh, wow! Never expected that! What a great story! You are a master storyteller!
Thank you Michelle, (tipping hat), I am glad you liked it.
Powerful. That’s exactly the way I pictured her, cunning.
I’m sorry that you had shitty luck with this lady. I’m sure you don’t deserve it.
The fact that you can write through it is great. I was once on the other side, I snuck out while he was at work, but more for my safety. When I doubted myself and went back to be reasonable I realized quickly that I should have stuck to my plan. Cops, courtrooms, restraining orders all followed and then psychological stuff…I shouldn’t have gone back. And I have yet to bring it into my writing. Maybe one day.
Stay strong.
I am truly sorry you had to experience something so horrible. Writing has helped me immensely, you should, even if it is only for your eyes.