Corn flakes and sex don’t mix! If you don’t believe me, you need to check out what John Harvey Kellogg has to say on the subject.
For those of you that only know Mr. Kellog as a flake that lives in a box, or are under the age of 50…err 150, I got some news for you.
Many consider Dr. Kellogg the founder in Biologic Living, or in layman’s terms…“pursuing a lifestyle for natural health and healing”.
If you want to save some time, you can always rent the movie, The Road to Wellville (or The Road to Abstinence). Espousing corn flakes in the morning, an enema in the afternoon, and of course a healthy dose of non-sex throughout the day kinda life…hold on a minute, that doesn’t sound at all “digestible” to me.
All I want is corn flakes in bed
Lets face it, everyone is looking for that ever-eluding balanced and healthy lifestyle that will surely propel us to superstar awesomeness, bringing the opposite sex to their knees, and filling our bank accounts with gold and silver.
My Bank Account
Unfortunately, if you decide to follow the advice of Mr. Kellogg, certain sacrifices must be made.
“A remedy [for masturbation] which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision…The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind…In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement. ” — Dr. John Harvey Kellogg
…Can You Say Ouch!!
In other words, you have to give up on this!
Only corn flakes for you big boy
For a team of doctors who are more than happy to apply corn flake torture practices.
We’re smiling because we only give enemas to other people
I think I’ll stick to apples and ladies in white!
I’m more fun than a bowel of corn flakes!
…I’m just saying!
Printer Friendly Version
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Really!
I’ll stick to the basics!
UP
Circumcision cures masturbation? My doctor must have done it wrong way back when. TMI?
.-= Captain Dumbass´s last blog ..Toyota and My Knees =-.
I will never look at a bowl of cornflakes the same ever again…
.-= Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)´s last blog ..But Officer, She Was Just Horsing Around! =-.
…threw out the box of cornflakes years ago…I not Stoopid….;o)
.-= Donna (Texas)´s last blog ..Pooped But Had a Good Time… =-.
a bowel of corn flakes???? Ewwwwwww.
.-= Lisa S. in IL´s last blog ..Horse Tennies =-.
You have been doing some strange research, Cowboy… I think I’ll have to stick to my ‘unhealthy’ lifestyle.
After reading the comments, I re-read the blog.
I think I’m on a Kellogg Strike!
UP
.-= UP´s last blog ..Conversation… =-.
LOl I gotta agree with Stacy here!!!!!!! This post totally cracked me up!! Not thinking I’ll ever read anything by that “DR”!!
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Pete is Officially NOT Ours Anymore…. =-.
I have been a cream of wheat man all my life. Never got into chasing something soggy with a spoon around the bowl. However, I am impressed with your bank account and with all do respect, how is security at your banking establishment?
)
p.s. – love the new look! — Two thumbs up!
Kellogg was one strange dude. I never did like corn flakes.
.-= Michele´s last blog ..Meatless Monday – Child Obesity =-.
Is she really more fun than a “bowel” of corn flakes? Or is she more fun than a bowl full. lol.
And for the record… I like fruity pebbles. Don’t read into that too much.
I wonder what it says about me that I prefer Cranberry Almond Crunch?
Welcome Mrs444! Actually, if you prefer Cranberry Almond Crunch, it means {censored}. So, as you can imagine, that’s a pretty wild cereal!