Corn flakes and sex don’t mix! If you don’t believe me, you need to check out what John Harvey Kellogg has to say on the subject.

For those of you that only know Mr. Kellog as a flake that lives in a box, or are under the age of 50…err 150, I got some news for you.

Many consider Dr. Kellogg the founder in Biologic Living, or in layman’s terms…“pursuing a lifestyle for natural health and healing”.

If you want to save some time, you can always rent the movie, The Road to Wellville (or The Road to Abstinence). Espousing corn flakes in the morning, an enema in the afternoon, and of course a healthy dose of non-sex throughout the day kinda life…hold on a minute, that doesn’t sound at all “digestible” to me.

All I want is corn flakes in bed

Lets face it, everyone is looking for that ever-eluding balanced and healthy lifestyle that will surely propel us to superstar awesomeness, bringing the opposite sex to their knees, and filling our bank accounts with gold and silver.

My Bank Account

Unfortunately, if you decide to follow the advice of Mr. Kellogg, certain sacrifices must be made.

“A remedy [for masturbation] which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision…The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind…In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement. ” — Dr. John Harvey Kellogg

…Can You Say Ouch!!

In other words, you have to give up on this!

Only corn flakes for you big boy

For a team of doctors who are more than happy to apply corn flake torture practices.

We’re smiling because we only give enemas to other people

I think I’ll stick to apples and ladies in white!

I’m more fun than a bowel of corn flakes!

…I’m just saying!

Tagged as: corn flakes