Remember the movie Battlefield Earth staring John Travolta? The Razzie Awards sure do, awarding it with a Golden Raspberry as the Worst Picture of the Decade.
Battlefield Earth is based on a novel by Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard, and said to be “The ‘Schindler’s List’ of sci-fi” by none other than the freakish dreadlocks sporting Urban Cowboy.
Accepting the Razzie award in person was J.D. Shapiro, the film’s first screenwriter.
Let me start by apologizing to anyone who went to see “Battlefield Earth.” It wasn’t as I intended — promise. No one sets out to make a train wreck. Actually, comparing it to a train wreck isn’t really fair to train wrecks, because people actually want to watch those.
Raspberries are better than Corn Flakes!
Battlefield Earth was as exciting as staring at raspberries
Having little interest in Scientology, Shapiro’s motivation began as a way to meet the ladies. Apparently he thought he may have found the mecca of sex after reading an article in Premiere magazine suggesting that LA’s Scientology hub, the Celebrity Center was “a great place to meet women”.
See what happens when you let your “wonker” do the thinking?
My Willy Wonker made me do it!
Sorry Willy, no chocolate factory for you!
Following his “Willy Wonker”, on his quest to hook up, Shapiro arranged a meeting with Karen Hollander, president of the center, who turned out to be a fan of his previous works. Shapiro went on to socialize with with Travolta, wife Kelly Preston and a variety of other scientologists. Having gained acceptance within this circle, Shapiro soon found himself on luxury ship cruises and penning a treatment for Battlefield Earth.
A personal favorite among his own novels, Hubbard wanted this novel to make it to the screen the most. Studio MGM gave the green light with a budget of $100m after Travolta agreed to star, and in Shapiro’s own words “life was grrrrreat!”
Psychologists…err…I mean Psychlos Rule!
Hey, what happened to my dread locks?
In the year 3,000, the Psychlos have ruled Earth for 1,000 years. The Psychlos are a highly technologically sophisticated (yet dumb, and even uglier) race of turtles with dreadlocks from another planet. Setting up mining camps, the people of Earth are now either enslaved to mine for gold by the Psychlos, or live in primitive tribes.
So easy, even a caveman can do it!
I can’t believe you talked me into this!
Leading an uprising against the Psychlos, Jonnie (Barry Pepper) and his band of cavemen stumble upon an underground Military base stocked with jets, fuel, and weapons of mass destruction. Taking a week long crash course in flying and learning what it takes to be a badassery soldier, the band of barbarians have transformed themselves into the ultimate fighting force. Armed with their recently acquired knowledge that would normally take years of intense training, they are prepared to kick some turtle butt!
Your can view the plot in its entirety if you can keep awake for that long by following this link.
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